Jack's Bad Day AND Michael's New Job
by Blackdawn-70631
Summary: Just two short stories making fun of Shaloni and I's story ~Rupture in the City~. Jack has a bad day on the Predator's home planet and Michael get's a new but unusuall job.


~Blackdawn-70631: There are two funny fanfic stories in this. Just something that's making fun of our first story Shaloni and I created together ~Rupture in the City~. The second story is actually an idea we thought of when one of our regular reviewer's, Max Brea for ~Rupture in the City~. Made a "different" review on the predator character, Michael.~  
  
Jack's Bad Day AND Michael's New Job  
  
*********  
  
Jack's Bad Day  
  
By Shaloni and Blackdawn-70631  
  
Jack looks at his young and now first owner, that looked like a Mini-Micheal from hell! The "little twirp" was as big as he was! Not to mention gathered around with his other young buddies showing him off like a damn pet dog!   
  
Their laughter sounded like a dieing bird. He covered his hears in annoyance. Watching as his owner was playfully shoved by another.   
  
~Hoped they got into a deathmatch!!~ He thought to himself.   
  
No such luck! His owner hefted a training spear and looked at him. Jack lowered his hands knowing what was coming next. Without further adue he turned around and ran the other way screaming.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Joe heard screaming, it sounded vaguely familiar. "Huh?" Turning around just in time to see her "dear friend" Jack running by her in a fit of screams throwing his arms about. A thin cloud of dust trailed behind him.  
  
~Is his owner chasing him again?~ She asked herself.  
  
Her question was soon answered as his young owner came running by with his training spear lifted to his shoulders. The owner's friends running right behind him laughing and giggeling in their alien way. For some bizzare reason his owner enjoyed tormenting Jack by chasing him around with a piece of stick.   
  
Jack let it happen without a fight cause he was a mamma's boy. Joe was pronounced a fighter slave as soon as she landed on this dreadful planet. Whether she liked it or not, she had to fight in the stupid arena.  
  
But Jack, well, he had no abilities they could use. Except for one. And that was to entertain the children. Mainly he was a pet. A bad one at that. He should know by now that boy was only playing and wouldn't really do him serious harm.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Jack screamed and screamed until his throat started hurting. Then, he stopped, laying his hands onto his knees panting. That's when he saw movement of a very large object at the corner of his eye.   
  
Lifting his head and saw the same fat woman he saw back on earth. The one that was caught in the fight him, Joe and Michael had just before the aliens caught them.   
  
~How'd she get here???~ He asked himself. Watching as she freely roamed the almost barren slope. He knew the woman was hungry from her devouring any creature that walked in her path.   
  
EWWWWWW! He knew he didn't just see her pick up a lizard and eat it!   
  
He came back to his senses when he heard the dreadfull laghter of his owner and his friends. Out of reaction, he bolted for her. He was by her side in seconds. "Lady! Big Mama! You have to help me!"  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
The woman flared at the young man and reeled her right arm backwards. Then, she threw her arm down with all her might. Her pink purse slapping across the man's cheeck.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Jack was sent into a spin then fell onto his side in a daze.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
A burger along with some fries came flying out of her purse. "Ahhhh! My Burger!" Running after the flying burger. Her jellified skin swishing and flopping from side to side."My fries" She yelled. The burger and fries fell onto the dusty ground. Barreling onto her knees and devoured both within seconds. She then looked up a group of children.   
  
~~~~~~~  
  
The running children came to a stop and only staired at this wild and LARGE ooman that was freely roaming around their clan's land.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
"Mmmmm." The large woman said. Lifting her purse and pulled out a pair of utensills. "The other white meat..." She mocked from the pork commercial. Letting the straps of the bag slide down her arm and correctly held the fork and knife. "Come to mamma sweet sweet child." Then bolted for them.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
The children turned and ran the other way. Screaming for their mothers as the huge ooman chased them. Their childish minds telling them they were going to be eaten.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Minutes later, the woman came to stop with gasping laughs at the children running off. They were just like little earth kids. So gullible!  
  
Lowering herself forward panting. Her untensils also lowered. "Woooo...." Panting some more. "Any.....any know where I can find a Pizza Hut?"  
  
^_^ The End ^_^  
  
**********  
  
Michael's New Job  
  
By Shaloni and Blackdawn-70631  
  
~This is somewhat of a spiritual short story.~  
  
Michael carefully straightened the front of his jacket, one of three pieces to his striped business suite. To bad it wasn't Armani. Taking a deep breathe as his hands fell to his side. His right hand filmly holding a tethered brown book. He looked at the door.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
To humans eyes the door was white. The house though was the usuall surburban family house. Big green front yard, a few children toys scattered about it, a little family dog letting out high pitch barks behind the door.   
  
So far, only the dog knew he was in front of the house. Knowing this when he saw a little furball peek it's head up over the window seal. Though it wouldn't be long before one of the family members would become curious and go to see what their dog was barking about.  
  
The garage door was open with new vehicles in the garage and more children toys scattered about. The day was actually a nice, warm day. Birds chirping in the background along with giggeling human children.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
~Okay.~ Michael mentally said to himself. ~Get this one and it will 15 for the day.~ Breathing again as he walked the door, assurance and confidence in his every step. He stopped in front of the door then lifted his balled hand to the finally polished wooden door and knocked. The dog going into an even louder histeric.  
  
"Who is it?" A very faint muffled voice asked from behind the door.  
  
"Jehova Witness!" He said loudly so he would be heard.  
  
The door opened with a creak. A well dressed man wearing a plain silk shirt with the regular brown khaki's turned white.  
  
"Hello." Michael said cheeringly with a smile. "I am here to speak to you about...."  
  
"OH GOD!!!!!" The man screamed.  
  
"Yes, exactly!" Michael exclaimed, glad to see his enthusiasm.  
  
The little man screamed as he threw his arms up and looked liked he was just about to faint. "Dear lord save me now!" He screamed.  
  
"Wow! I'm glad you're taking your faith so seriously..."  
  
The little furball of a dog ran out of the house and jumped for Michael's leg.  
  
Michael tried swinging his leg out of the way but the dog soon latched on to the heel of his expensive pants. "Dang it!" He carefully dragged the dog around by it's teeth. Not wanting to hurt it OR his pants.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Up above, a bright creature was sitting ontop of the families roof, though no one could see it. It smiled. Not only was it proud of Michael's talent for scaring people back into the faith, but also at the fact that the dog was ruining his expensive pants.   
  
"Awww yes Michael." The creature said. "What a grand day you are having."  
  
Michael's Guardian Angel then stood up and disapeared.  
  
^_^ The End ^_^ 


End file.
